Movie sequels occasionally work if the script is a thoughtful continuation of the first film, but if they're done badly, they end up recycling old storylines with a D-list cast for a quick buck. Then there are those sequels that are so bad, the movie studio tucks them into a deep, dark abyss of an alleyway to prevent you from seeing them. These are their stories.
Mean Girls 2
Despite multiple offers by Paramount to write the sequel, Tina Fey distanced herself from the monstrosity that is Mean Girls 2. The only actor who returned to the franchise was Tim Meadows, who played Principal Duvall. Coincidentally (or not?), he's also starring in another upcoming sequel — Grown Ups 2. No surprise, the first 25 seconds of the trailer is swallowed by our favourite moments from the original film, because the new script doesn't have two legs to stand on. The plot is essentially the same as the first, except Cady is replaced by Jo, a 17-year-old tomboy who lives with her father, and the lead Plastic is brunette instead of blonde. WOAH, slow down Mean Girls 2, you're blowing my mind.
I was OBSESSED with Reese Witherspoon's Legally Blonde when it came out in 2001 and watched it every year before school started. It was a tradition, so don't JUDGE me thank you. That's why it hurts my fragile soul to hear the Oscar-winning actress and blonde bombshell thought producing Legally Blondes (notice the plurality) would be a smart idea even after the failure of Legally Blonde 2 — the whole thing reeks of irony. In this stand alone triquel, the youngest cousins of Elle Woods must defend themselves when their school's reigning forces frame them for a crime. The randomly British twins find strength in their Chihuahuas and use the school code to defend their pink-dominated wardrobe. Amurca's about freedom of choice y'all.